how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm having to shit out rocks
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