just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
