Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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