Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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