I'm jealous of your bromance
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
