Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
