Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
