Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
