whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
