He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
