mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
