Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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