Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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