YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
