Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
