I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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