....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
