But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
