Do you still have your period?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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