with your own penis?
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dear god my vagina.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
