OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
