Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
