He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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