I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
