Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
