Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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