i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
