Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize