I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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