Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he shaved USA in his pubs
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
