school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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