I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I could fuck to npr.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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