Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize