things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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