Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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