The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Randomize
