a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
