i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
