Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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