That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
