Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
