Non-Jews are for practice
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
