Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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