I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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