im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
