help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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