End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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