she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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