I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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