When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize