Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
