There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The air was thick with penises
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
