Me. At least after what I've been through.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
