forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just found puke in my bra..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My feet surprised me
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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