it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
