I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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