I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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